Reverenced as a master...

He that teaches us anything that we knew not before is undoubtedly to be reverenced as a master. -Unknown

Hmm, which direction do I take this one?

Let's go this this one: my dog has taught me that if you puke on the carpet, you should definitely lick it up. You can't imagine how many times that has saved me at bars and house parties. Obviously, I consider my dog to be a master of puke licking.

Let's think about this people, if you are going say something deep and quotable, how about not trying to make it so generic that I instantly shit on it with anemic logic. I mean, I didn't even finish reading the quote before I knew where it was going and how I was going to destroy it.

Also, I feel like this quote is the battle cry for the sissy, nanny-state modern day that we live in: "If you can do something, no matter how crappily you do it, then you are a winner." I can mouth breathe and pee on the seat. Congrats! I win a prize.

Screw that. How about I can rape and pillage the surrounding villages, drive my car 110 mph, and kick you in the crotch? See that, I win. You lose.