He that plants trees...

He that plants trees loves others besides himself. -Thomas Fuller

Alright, I don't know who the hell Thomas Fuller is, aside from the fact that he is a douche nozzle. Maybe Mr. Oh-Look-At-Me-Planting-A-Tree wanted to get some shade from the hot sun. Maybe he is going to hang out on his back porch with a shotgun and wait for the first person who tries to steal his shade so he can pepper their grill up nice and good with some buckshot. I don't know.

Thinking that everyone who does a certain thing for altruistic motives is a terrible way to think and a fantastic way to get yourself in rapey-killy situation. Seriously ladies, next time you are going to help a guy load a couch into the back of a van, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I about a size 14?
2. Is my name Frederica Bimmel?
3. Would I fuck me?

If any of the answers to these questions are yes, then you should probably just avoid helping that dude and just go home and put some lotion on your skin.

By the way, I never know where these little tirades are going to go when I first toss the "inspirational" quote up there. Somehow this one devolved into me thinking about going home and watching Silence of the Lambs. Damn that was an awesome rapey-killy movie.